


Goodbye For Now

by For Fucks Sake Shirogane (Nupitrr)



Series: Klangst Week 2k17 [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Confessions, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Past Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-11 21:25:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10474752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nupitrr/pseuds/For%20Fucks%20Sake%20Shirogane
Summary: Maybe it just isn't right





	

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1: Unrequited Love/Unrequited Crush
> 
> Damn Daniel, back at it again with the late week challenge. I actually finished this two days ago I just never posted it haha whoops. Working on the rest rn, and YES I WILL FINISH SHENDAK WEEK SOMEDAY

He wasn’t Hunk; he had known this from the beginning. 

Keith could try his hardest to be something he wasn't. His smiles weren't warm enough, hugs weren't strong enough, words weren't reassuring enough. But god he was trying so hard for him, putting his all in for Lance’s sake. If he could just fill that hole in his chest, make Lance feel whole-- _human_ \--again for just a moment, he would feel right.

His hand fidgeted around the bouquet he held as he knocked on Lance's door. The wind blew his hood off his head and nearly knocked him off his feet, but it didn't matter. He heard the stomp of feet coming down the stairs for him, and his heart fluttered the way it did every time he saw him. It would never get old; that smile, the warm, playful tone of his voice, and the brush of his fingers over his forearm. Yes, he could live in those moments with him forever, wrapped in his arms and blissfully unaware of the rest of the world.

Keith had just closed his eyes, letting his mind wander as the door swung open. His eyes snapped open immediately and locked on Lance's. They were sad, and there was something almost bitter in the look he gave Keith. The look passed as fast as it came, and he gave him the warm smile he loved so much. But he knew that look; it wasn't the first time he'd seen that expression directed at him.

_Wrong._

“Hey, was wondering when you’d get here.” he mused. Lance took the bouquet from Keith's shaking hand before leaning in to press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. His lips were warm and chapped, and Keith wanted nothing more than to get lost in the feeling of their mouths pressed together. Lance pulled back, a dreamy look in his eyes as he examined the flowers in his hands. Lilies, exploding in an array of Lance's favorite colors.

“Yeah, sorry my little sister needed me.” Keith explained. He followed Lance inside, not bothering to kick his shoes off. The sound of his large pitbull, Buttercup, running at him caught Keith off guard. He almost ended up on his ass with the force of the dog throwing herself at him. He let Lance walk into the kitchen to fetch an empty vase while he petted Buttercup, cooing softly to her.

He looked up from the panting dog when he heard the clank of glass on the countertop. The flowers sat proudly in the crystal vase, their vibrant colors bringing life to the room. Lance looked at them with fondness in his eyes, fingers brushing over the petals lovingly. He turned to face Keith and froze, hand hovering above the flowers. 

The scene looked too familiar. Keith was squatting, both hands enthusiastically rubbing at Buttercup’s stomach. He cooed at the dog softly, patting her belly with one hand as he massaged it with his other. The hood of his jacket was in a puddle around his neck, letting his hair, frizzy with the humidity, stand up in every direction, as wild as Keith was. What got him, however, wasn’t any of this; it was his smile.

He was grinning, an honest to god smile that only came out around Lance. It was so genuinely warm, so pure and loving, that it made his heart ache. Too similar, his smile was too much like Hunk’s, so much that it hurt. He could almost hear Hunk’s laugh, soft and loving, in place of Keith’s. Lance tore his eyes away immediately.

“Ready to get going?” he asked. Lance kept his eyes low, hands shoved in his hoodie pouch. Keith looked up from Buttercup, and the smile fell away when he saw the look in his eyes. He was doing his best to hide it, trying his hardest not to let his emotions show through, but his eyes were expressive. They held the hurt and sadness that his smile covered up. 

Keith rose to his feet and stepped forward, closing the distance between him and Lance in a few strides. He couldn’t bear to see him hurt like this and not be able to do something, even if he knew the response he would get. His arms wrapped around Lance’s slender waist, and he pulled him in close, letting Lance’s forehead rest against his shoulder.

“Lance I--”

“Keith, let’s _go._ ” he murmured. Despite his words, Lance made no gesture to try to move away from Keith’s embrace, and he knew why.

It wasn’t Hunk, wasn’t his strong arms or the same pleasant smell, but it was as close as he would ever get to that feeling ever again. Keith wasn’t Hunk, could never be a proper substitute for him, but he tried anyway. Some days it would piss him off, but today like many others it brought tears to his eyes.

It was that same obnoxious stubbornness that Hunk would show. He would refuse to leave, wouldn’t even budge, until Lance was sitting down and confessing to him with tears running down his cheeks. He hated it, hated pouring his feelings out, opening his wounds for everyone to see, but Hunk made it feel right, made him feel safe.

Many nights had been spent in Hunk’s room, Lance half naked and sobbing in his arms as he was shushed like a child. Hunk would kiss his tears away and tell him how everything would be alright. Everything was alright when Hunk was there with him. Lance could breathe easy, not worry about what his parents would say to him or how his grades looked. It was all easy with him, simple and painless.

Until that day. Lance could remember every detail of their conversation that day, down to the way Hunk had screamed for him to watch out as the car flew around the bend and collided head-on with theirs. If he thought hard enough, he could imagine the pain of broken ribs and a fractured pelvis. He could still smell the sharp antiseptic scent of the hospital as he was wheeled in on a stretcher, unable to move without shooting pain filling his body.

He didn’t have to think hard to remember the words the doctors told him that night. How they had tried so hard to save him, how there had been glass in his lungs and they could do nothing to fix it, how he had thrown himself across Lance to protect him. How sorry they were, oh so sorry and mournful. Sorry and mournful wouldn’t bring Hunk back. Sorry and mournful meant _nothing_ to him.

He held out four whole days in that hospital bed before he broke down sobbing. Ever since then, he had refused to cry in front of anyone. It wasn’t the same, no matter who he was with, how they held him or whispered to him how they understood. It would _never_ be the same.

He felt Keith stroking his hand up and down Lance’s back as if trying to coax emotions out of him. Revolting. It wasn’t the same, Keith wasn’t him and it wasn’t enough. He could never truly open up for him, couldn’t be there for him the way he deserved. Did he even love Keith? They had been dating for months now, and he’d heard the words murmured against his lips time and time again, but they never came from Lance.

“I just want to go out Keith.” He mumbled, mouth pressed to the collar of Keith’s shirt. He didn’t struggle when Keith guided him into the living room, yielded when his shins bumped against the sofa. He reclined into the familiar shape of the cushions with a sigh, wiping at his watery eyes with the back of his hand.

Keith was staring, full-on, unabashed staring. He knew there was something wrong, something that wasn’t his place to fix. It was probably something he _couldn’t_ fix, something that Lance would shove him away for, but he’d be damned if he was going to leave him there on the brink of tears or worse, try to resume life like he wasn’t so shaken up.

“You know you can talk to me about whatever is wrong.” Keith stated. Lance’s head was in his hands, face hidden from the world. No, no he wasn’t doing this right now. In an instant he was on his feet, bolting towards the staircase. He couldn’t do this right now, couldn’t handle Keith and him trying to be someone he wasn’t.

“I can’t and won’t.” Lance snapped. He was halfway to the stairs when he felt a hand on his wrist, trying its best to keep him from running up the steps. His grip was loose, and he knew that it would be nothing to break out of his grasp. 

“Lance, please just talk to me. I love you and I’m here for you.” He could feel his heart seize at those words. He loved him. He was there for him. He wanted to talk to him. It was as if he wanted to break Lance further. He wanted to scream, to punch him in the goddamn face. Instead, Lance turned to him, biting back the tears that he desperately wanted to release as he spoke.

“You’re not him, y’know.” His words were almost venomous. They struck Keith like ice cold water on his face. His grip on Lance’s arm wavered.

“I...I know. I’m not trying to be him but I lo--”

“ _No._ ” Now he was yelling. The calm in his tone was long gone. “No you _are_ trying. You’re trying to be all caring and loving, trying to worm your way into his role. You’re. Not. Him. And you’ll never be him, never be as good as him, not even close.

“You wanna know why we started dating? Because I knew you liked me and I figured why not. I didn’t think you’d be head over heels for some broken guy like me, and I’m still certain you’re faking. If you’re not, then I am. I don’t love you, I can’t love someone who’s trying so desperately to fix me like I’m a puzzle missing a piece or some shit.”

A pin could have dropped. The room was dead silent, filled only with the weight of Lance’s words. Keith’s hand fell away from his wrist, limp at his side. There was a single tear running down Lance’s face, a silent surrender to the words he had spoken. Neither of them could move from where they stood, afraid that the moment would shatter into chaos if they did.

Keith was the one to speak. His voice was hoarse with restrained tears. His chest felt tight, too tight to breathe let alone speak. It felt as if his whole world was collapsing right before him.

“You...you don’t love me?” They were barely a squeak. “You don’t even _like_ me?”

“I never said I don’t like you, but I just--” His voice broke off, words cracking as he struggled to compose himself. “It’s too much. I _can’t_ love you, okay? Being with you hurts and I can’t deal with this anymore. I can’t keep up this--this lie!” Lance placed one foot on the stair behind him, ready to leave the room.

He couldn’t just leave it like this. Keith surged forward, grabbing Lance by the wrist again as he stepped onto the same stair. They stood there, tear stained faces only a breath apart before Keith leaned in to close the gap. The kiss was bittersweet; he knew it would be a goodbye, knew that this was the end of them being together. All because he wasn’t good enough, wasn’t enough to fix or even help Lance past this. He would never be good enough.

Keith’s eyes flew open when he felt Lance kiss back. The tears were flowing freely now, covering his cheeks with long silent rivers. He wanted to kiss each tear away, tell Lance everything would be alright now and Keith was here for him. He couldn’t, it wasn't his place to do that. He simply kissed back, letting himself be absorbed in the feeling of their bodies pressed together.

The moment they pulled away felt like an eternity. Keith dropped Lance’s wrist once again, his hand clenching into a fist at his side. Lance’s eyes opened, showing the red-rimmed mess he had become in Keith’s hand. He _could_ help Lance, knew he could guide him through this. It wouldn’t be hard; so long as they had each other, Lance could pour his heart out to Keith, weep and lament, do whatever he needed to move on.

Instead, Lance rubbed his face on his sleeve, sniffling hard to clear his stuffy nose. He took another step up the stairs, distancing himself from Keith once again. It was over. Keith couldn’t do anything now. Lance took another step, then another, before finally turning his back on him.

“Goodbye, Keith Kogane.” He whispered, keeping his head low to hide the tear that ran down his face as he spoke.

**Author's Note:**

> Something in me wants to make a pt 2 where they get back together and it's all happy but for now I'll leave it like this. Let me know if you'd want that part two and I'd be happy to deliver.


End file.
